Baby #8 is already making his/ her mark in the World

I think each child I have had has taught me something. Having so many children has forced me to learn how to clean efficiently and organize my home-- I don't think I ever would have gotten around to it with only 3 children. I'm still not very clean, but I'm much better than I would have been without being responsible for so many. I've also learned to put my children first and read to them at night even though I'm tired, and make sure I am available to help them with whatever school work they need help with, and just take care of them and make sure they are doing what they are supposed to do. It has taken a lot of time and attention to figure out how to get it all to work. I'm far from perfect, but I'm much further along that road because of my children.

Even with 5 kids, I was handling my life fine-- I had time to learn how to play the guitar, time to read and time to learn all sorts of cooking and food prep. Enter the twins-- I went from 5 kids to 7 and it was rough. I am jut 5'2" tall, so the pregnancy was very heavy for me. By the end I could hardly walk and I struggled to finish the dishes by sitting on a stool, I also sat on a stool to cook. The pregnancy was hard from the beginning-- I was twice as sick the first trimester and twice as big the 3rd, the 2nd was O.K. I was too tired to do anything besides take care of my 5 children and my pregnant self. Once the babies were born I literally could do nothing except take care of those babies, pull meals together and read to the kids or help them with their schoolwork while I nursed those twins. There wasn't enough time to clean, our house was really, really messy. The kids would have helped, but it was so out of control that they just couldn't because they wouldn't know where to start. I did have meals brought in at first and my mom helped with laundry, but wow-- the whole year is kind of a blur. I loved those babies and enjoyed them, but there was no time for book clubs or playing the guitar. We barely made it to our homeschool group once a week. School was O.K. because I could do that while I nursed, but that is about all I did. I don't even remember much about Christmas because I think it was still a blur. Once those babies turned 1, my life started to ease up. I was ready to join back into life and social events as I am a very social person.

That was a rude awakening. My 3 best friends had moved during that year and 3 others the year before. The couple of friends who were left who I had done things with when my older kids were young no longer had babies. They were entering the phase of motherhood where the youngest child goes off to school and they suddenly have some newfound freedom and opportunities. I felt like everybody left me behind, and I think they did. It was time for me to grow further and it was time for our family to move to a better environment closer to my husband's work. That didn't turn out to be very easy, and only after it got really hard for not just me, but for the kids, we knew we had to force the move and just do it. We are in the process now- still haven't moved, but we are feeling much better because we are building a great house in a great neighborhood and area for our family. Things I've learned and experience I've gained from these experiences are really due to those twins.

I read that only about 0.5% of women nowadays have 7 children or more. In Utah, there are a good number of families with 4 and 5 kids, 6 is less common but accepted as normal, and very few families have 7 or more children. So I think I was considered "normal" with my 7 because the last 2 were twins and that is "acceptable". Those twins are so cute and so sweet. They are worth every pain I endured. With a promotion at work and a new house being built with plenty of room and a feeling of someone missing, we decided to have another baby. I am no longer considered "normal" even though it is just one more kid than my 7. Some people are having a hard time accepting it. I find myself growing again, going against the culture and defending my freedom of choice and being fine with staying away from negative people and just doing what I think is best regardless of what others say or think.

So far baby #8 has already changed my life forever. I am officially "unusual" now and officially in the BIG family club. I do have a very nice big family group I'm a part of and those ladies are wonderful and very encouraging. I have some good friends with varying sizes of families who are supportive of me and that make me feel good.

I read a quote by Joseph Smith the other day that perfectly describes how I feel about this:

When persons manifest the least kindness and love to me, O what power it has over my mind, while the opposite course has a tendency to harrow up all the harsh feelings and depress the human mind.

( this is from Daughters in My Kingdom page 23)

I had no idea there was even so much to learn and do in this life. Thank you baby #8, I am already a better person because of you. Thank you to my husband for always being there for me-- at least we have each other!! Thank you to all my sweet and good children for putting up with me and loving me despite my weaknesses. Thank you to all the people who have shown love to me even though they may not understand me or even know me or have met me in person. Thank you to anyone who has been kind to me and smiled despite the throng of children usually following me around. Thank you for being nice. Going against the grain is not an easy thing to do-- there are plenty who mock and don't even try to understand. Thank you to you for being a true friend.

p.s., the morning sickness is finally starting to subside, I exercised for the first time today in about 6 weeks-- it felt sooooooo good-- I should be pretty much back to normal in a week or 2 so I'm sure I'll be back on here posting updates-- the past few weeks have been rather boring with me laying down and resting every time the twins go to bed. Fortunately my kids watch so little TV that they actually guiltily like it when I'm sick because then they pretty much get to watch as much TV as they want. My husband was sick last week too so they had a couple days of marathon Curios George shows on Netflix. They're hoping to watch a lot of Kipper too, but I'm starting to feel better and I made them all do aerobics and yoga with me today. They'll thank me later!!

toddlers

#6 hit his older brother,#3, with a wooden spoon. It made his brother laugh, and it was fun to do, so he tried it on #5 who did not laugh, but cried. Then little #6 was reprimanded by me, his mommy, and the combo of #5 crying and mommy's reprimanding made #6 cry too. He's sorry and he'll try not to do it again!

#7 learned where his nose is. He pointed to his toes once, but now he runs around and points to everyone's noses saying, "no, no, no".

They both love to be chased. They run away a lot and laugh and laugh. They also understand a lot and will try to help as much as they can. They bring me all sorts of things from the cupboard. They'll put things in the cupboard too. They'll also put things on the counters and table and they like to decorate the walls with marker. They will also help me find whoever I'm looking for. This really is a fun age.

hands full today

We took the sides off the babies cribs, and they have done pretty well and slept most of the time- but not today!! I would lay them down and out they would both come smiling, knowing they were getting away with something and thinking it was a very fun game. We finally put the baby gate up in their door way so they couldn't get out, and #6 fell asleep right there on the floor by the gate. They didn't sleep well and they were sure cranky and tired. They went to bed fine and fell asleep fast when it was time for the night time sleep. So cute!!

Twins Update

The twins are just about 15 mos. old now. #7 has been toddling all over the place and is very curious about everything. He finds it fun to play chase and throw. We have to watch him extra careful. Last week both babies were playing on the back deck while I was helping #1 with her math. For some reason I thought they were both inside because I heard #6 playing behind the couch. But when I finished with #1 she asked where #7 was. I realized then that he hadn't come back in but somehow the back door was now closed. I ran outside frantically searching and found him in the front of the house!! I then knew I will have to keep an extra close eye on him.

A couple days ago as I was loading the babies into the van, I set #7 on the driveway while I situated #6 in the van. #7 never stopped walking and I caught him just as he was about to run in the road! Today I knew he had gone out front with some of the kids. I suddenly had a feeling I's better go look for him. I ran out front just in time to see him walk right into the road where he started running faster as soon as he saw me. I'm very grateful we live on a quiet street!

Both babies played outside for a while today. The older kids got pretty muddy so they took baths. I heard #7 playing in the bathroom while #5 was in the tub. I soon heard a splash and crying. I ran in to find #7 in the tub with all his clothes on. He didn't like that!! Never a dull moment with this sweet boy. My other babies have not been this adventurous and curious. They've all stayed pretty close to me and been nervous to try new things. Not #7!

#6 loves to be held. We have to trick him into walking while he holds our hands and sometimes we can trick him into walking while holding only one hand. As soon as he realizes he is standing on his own, he cries and sits down. He is way cute though with long, long eyelashes. He loves to push buttons and often turns off movies and cds. He fell out of the wagon out back today, but didn't cry much. He is very smiley and very cute.

There is never a dull moment around here with these babies. I have to assign older kids to entertain them so I can make dinner, because they are little handfuls. My life is rich. I'm so glad to have all these blessings in my life!

Starting Flylady again

In my previous life -- before the twins-- I loved following fly lady recommendations. I cleaned my sink each evening and swish and swiped my bathrooms each morning. I started decluttering and it was very rewarding to see my house come together. I was not born organized-- it's not in my nature-- so I needed somebody like fly lady to teach me how to prioritize and make housework doable. I really didn't know-- it didn't come naturally. She helped me so much it was awesome. I never did the full program, but my house was way more under control and a nice place to be.

Then I got pregnant with the twins-- pretty much everything went out the window for 6 weeks during the 1st trimester and for 6 weeks during the last trimester-- all I really did was make dinner and wash the dishes. Then I had the two babies to nurse and care for-- huge amounts of time required. They started getting easier as they grew and I started to focus on my children helping out more their zones and rooms are looking pretty good. Now the babies are one and sleeping well through the evening and night-- it's my turn to focus on my responsibilities.

So this week I'm going to follow Kelly's missions-- I try to include the kids in these and also work on the decluttering habit found here .

Fly lady has been a very good thing for me!! Someday I will be organized and my laundry will be done! There is hope.

The Difference between a twin pregnancy and a singleton one

This is all based on my recent personal experience. I am now about 6 weeks postpartum.

1st trimester-- I was twice as sick with morning sickness than usual and my tummy started poking out much sooner than any of my previous singleton pregnancies. I was unable to continue eating the nutrient dense salads and raw foods I had gotten used to eating prior to the pregnancy. I figured out that they were just too strong for my tastebuds I needed very plain food or anything I didn't have to make. I had to pretty much quit the raw meals because I couldn't make 2 meals- one for me and one for the family, the one for the family was barely making it. I did try to juice wheatgrass more often and I did keep up on the dark green leafy salads and smoothies, but I couldn't eat my previously favored dressings and I couldn't keep up making sprouted wheat crackers or breads.

2nd trimester- was not too bad. I started feeling more normal and had a couple months of good housecleaning and school teaching. I started to be asked when I was due. I decided to pretend I wasn't as big as I was or I wouldn't have gone anywhere. I was still able to exercise and funciton on a normal level. I was much itchier though and I had a lot more Braxton Hicks contractions than with my others. Not a huge difference so far although certainly different. The worry for the babies and if they are O.K. is twice what it is for a singleton. It seems so many more things can go wrong. The twins would switch positions every time I went in- twin A breech, twin B head down, etc. Worry about a c-section if both twins are not head down at time of delivery. I had an ultrasound every visit to the doc about every 3 weeks.

3rd trimester-- this is where the variance is the greatest. I got to be very slow. It was hard to get around and I was very tired. I had to quit exercising because the wieght of my pulling on my ligaments was just too uncomfortable and I realized that I'd better save my strength for sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor. I had a terrible itchy rash on my ankles, back and arms, just a couple spots on my belly. It was awful. At least it was in the winter and I could wear long sleeves. It cleared up by about 3 weeks postpartum. It was so itchy. about 35 weeks I started to swell really bad especially in my ankles. I think some of that was from being so immobile. We were remodeling our house to make room for everybody and I really didn't want to have the twins come during that awful mess so I stayed down a lot and I really swelled. I was able to cope with the bigness-- and I was humongous-- my belly was anyway- I actually gained the same amount of weight I did with my other babies mostly because of my diet I think-- anyway I could cope with the size and the being tired and itchy, but when my feet started to swell and my hands too, I knew it was going to be time to have the babies soon. About week 30-32 I found that preparing dinner on a tall barstool was very helpful. It was just hard to stand up for any length of time. I pretty much quit doing any kind of deep cleaning. We were in survival mode especially with the remodel. I usually would reach that desparate point of immobility at 37 weeks with a singleton and I would say I was there at 28 weeks, but I had a good attitude and was really looking forward to raising the babies. Fortunately, my husband picked up a lot of the slack. Then when it became almost impossible for me walk because of the pressure on my pelvis,I knew the babies would need to be born soon. My body wouldn't be able to go on much longer and it wasn't going to get any easier. Plus the babies were good sized by 32 weeks they were about 4 lbs. each and I had them at 37 weeks and 2 days and they were 6lbs 10 oz and 6 lb 11 oz which is really good size for twins. I'm only 5'2" though and that was a lot of pressure on my frame.

The Delivery-- My doctor agreed to induce me and the delivery went smoothly although I had to deliver in the operating room and I pretty much had to get an epidural to avoid a c-section. If I had to do that part over I might consider getting a midwife familiar with twins so that I wouldn't have to get the epidural, but I'm thankful I didn't have to get a c-section. So I'm not complaining much, my doctor was competent, and I had to go with what she was comfortable with and knows. I didn't feel a single contraction. Usually I feel them right after the doctor breaks my water, but not this time, maybe because the other bag of water was cushioning it. The epidural worked right away even though I asked for the smallest dose possible just enough to give me some if a c-section was necessary so that they wouldn't have to knock me out, but I didn't feel a thing, not even any pressure, just pins and needles through my legs and feet the entire time. I pushed 3 times to get the first baby out and the second one was born 5 minutes later with one push and the vacuum.

Postpartum-- The afterpains were not too bad with my motherwort tea and the red raspberry leaf tea I had taken throughout the pregnancy. I did take one dose of ibuprofen, but that was it for prescription meds. The feeling in my legs returned about 6 hours after delivery and i felt pretty good. I came home the next day with both babies and I felt like a deflated balloon. I was worried about the muscle separation in my stomach, it felt like there was a herniated muscle in the center. I felt like a bulldozer had just run through my insides and torn up everything. Fortunatly I have a book I had great success using after a diastais (muscle separation with baby #5) called Lose your Mummy Tummy and it has great exercises i write about when I have my waist back. So I started those including Kegels and I don't feel quite so torn up anymore, but I have a ways to go to get my waist back and to get my abdominal muscles back together. It took about 2 1/2 weeks for my swelling to go away. I could fit into my pants a week later, but my belly looked eformed from the diastatis. I was about 5 fingerwidths a week after delivery and am now down to 2 fingerwidths. If I was more consistent at the exercises I'm sure the diastasis would be even less, but slowly but surely I will get those closed up. I feel close to norml with everything else and have started exercising again although getting the twins on a common schedule haas been a challenge and it is harder to do things like that now.

It felt so good to not be pregnant anymore. It feels so good to be able to walk around bend over and clean the house and make dinner easily. I won't feel completely normal until my diastatis closes completely because I just know my core is fragile and I don't want to risk any further damage, but it was worth it!! It was extremely difficult with homeschooling 5 other children, remodeling the house, eating healthy, and running a household, but we made it and the babies are so adorable and wonderful. I would do it all over again although one set of twins is plenty!!