Visit to our future ward-- so GOOD!!!!

We are in the process of getting a house built about 20 min. from my husband's work. We've picked out the lot and picked out the plan we want. We just have to hammer out the details, sign on the dotted line and put some money down. So we all went to check out the new ward.

It was so AWESOME!!!!! I am still in shock at how good it was and how welcoming the leadership was. They announced over the pulpit that they would like to have all the new families and visitors meet in the bishop's office after sacrament meeting. So we went and the bishopric, the relief society president, the young women's president, the primary president, and the young men's president were all there. They went around the room and introduced themselves and then gave the new people a chance to introduce themselves. They chatted with us a little bit and then all the presidents were there to help all the kids find the right classes. I feel totally comfortable with all of them, I have no qualms about handing my children over to them. They asked me if there was anything else they could do to help. They made sure I knew when the activities are. The bishop knew exactly who was serving in what calling. It was amazing. This is the first time in a long time that I have felt relaxed at church. I didn't have to be on guard. I could relax. There were tons of people there- it filled up have the overflow gym section. There were lots of families and lots of kids. A family sang a beautiful hymn humbly and beautifully without changing the tune or making any fanfare. It made me cry. One of the nursery leaders homeschools, and there are other families in the ward who do so also. Lots of people introduced themselves and were sincere. I am just in awe. It was such a contrast to what I have been used to in my current ward. I don't ever want to go back to my old ward. The bishop asked if we should pull our records and when I told him that I didn't want to make it to difficult for visiting teaching, he told me we could do phone visits. They already have tons of people in the ward, but they are so ready for more. Each organization had get to know papers to fill out. They were all so nice. This is the church I know and love, and I feel like I've come home.

I think we'll sign the papers this week and I will drive my kids to their weekly activities. My oldest is sooooo happy. I just can't wait. I can hardly believe it. I am still in shock.

Life Experience-- love

I've written a bit about some of the frustrations I've had here in Utah and especially in my ward. I have tried to be fair and keep it general, I hope I have done that and will continue to do so. I'm getting tired of the whole thing, but I keep understanding myself, others and life around here a little better and I keep wanting to share. This has been a huge growing experience for me, and we'll be moving into a brand new house probably the end of November so I'm all set for a completely new set of problems-- because they (problems) are everywhere- you know.

The most important experience I've gained is what it feels like to be on the outside and to really not fit in. I hope that all through my life I have felt empathy for those around me who haven't fit in or who have been shunned in one way or another. I've known people who have felt and gone through similar things I've just gone through, and I have talked with them and tried to help them and make them feel better, but now that I personally have gone through it-- I can REALLY empathize. I think I have a better idea (although, my understanding is still extremely limited) of what Jesus Christ went through- being thrown out of synagogues and being asked to leave his home town. Wow, you just don't know how it feels 'til it happens to you. I had no idea-- I'm glad that I tried to be understanding, but I really didn't understand. I have friends now who try to understand, but just really can't. I can see people with the same thoughts toward me that I had towards other people-- I've now been on both sides.

I think the most important thing for me to take away from this experience is to just be kind and considerate of everyone. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself or to get to know people. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted. Each one of us has power to do things that will brighten or darken someone's day. There's no way to know the sorrows people carry with them. We need to lift each other and rejoice in others successes and sorrow at their failures. We need to make sure we are kind and friendly with people. A smile can make such a difference-- it's such a small thing, but so powerful. We also need to sincerely care for others-- not just because we should-- but because we really do care. If we really love people, it will shine through even if we don't know how to relate to them or help them-- it will make a world of difference just to know that someone cares.

I think Cor 13 is particularly applicable here-- if you don't have love or charity- then whatever other great things you can do or have, don't matter. Without love- life is meaningless.

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not acharity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

If you don't have charity- you can pray for it, and God will grant your desire Moroni 7:

46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—

47 But acharity is the pure blove of Christ, and it endureth cforever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, apray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true bfollowers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall cbe like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be dpurified even as he is pure. Amen.

Health Food Store Raided by the Govt.

This is the link to the story linked by Drudge. Disgusting.

http://www.infowars.com/raw-food-raid-armed-agents-bust-raw-milk-cheese-sellers/

This blog used to be fun

I vented a great post on my daughter's girls camp, but after sleeping on it, I decided I'd better write it over again in more general terms. This blog was a lot more fun when I didn't have people I know reading it! :)

My New Recipe blog

I added another recipe blog to my sidebar list because I still cannot find my password to the old one. This one has one that I should remember fine so hopefully I won't be doing this again. I find it very valuable to keep up on what I make for dinner especially when it is good so that I remember to make it again and keep it in the rotation of meals I serve.

A Strange Conversation-- get me out of Utah!!

I think we are ready to leave Utah. It is mostly a subject for a different post, but we are tired of dealing with the willful ignorance and non-caring attitude we have encountered in different circles around the state. If it is our lot to deal with it, let's at least do it where it is beautiful and where there are awesome field trips. I may go into depth about our realizations later.

For now here is the conversation I had with the Primary President on Sunday:

I am now officially the sunbeam teacher to 6 kids including one of my own and the wolf cub scout leader. Sunday was my first time to teach the Sunbeams. At the end of church as I was waiting for parents to come for their children, the P.P. came into the room to talk to me.

P.P.: O.K., so I need to talk to you.
me: sure.
P.P.: So, just tell me straight up, what is going on with you- do you really want to be in the nursery, because the nursery leaders are telling me that you told them you would be in there.
me: I am willing to do whatever needs to be done. My twins were not yet 18 months and I had no calling, so I told the nursery leaders that I would just hang out in the nursery with my babies until I got a calling. Now I have a calling, so I will not hang out in the nursery, I will teach my new class. End of story.
P.P.: End of story?
me: end of story.
P.P.: Oh, O.K., that's what I thought- the nursery leaders were just so worried and I saw Ryan leave with the twins, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah-blah.
me: We had a funeral yesterday, the twins were tired, Ryan took them home.
P.P.: alright, I just thought I needed to hear from you what was going on.
me: I guess I can let the nursery leaders know that I have a calling now.
P.P.: Are you O.K. teaching this class- do you need an assistant? The bishop is moving kind of slow in getting you an assistant.
( I told her when she gave me the sunbeam lesson manuel that I did not need an assistant, I have 7 kids including twins-- I can handle 6 Sunbeams as rowdy as they may be, unless there is someone who needs a calling)
me: I do not need an assistant unless someone needs a calling, we were just fine- then I told her some of the things we had done in class to keep children happy, learning and behaved.
P.P.: O.K., I trust you. We won't worry about an assistant then.

Amazing-- The great thing is that I was in a good mood when she came in, I really like being with the little kids. I have no ill feelings toward her so she couldn't get me to react in any kind of a negative way. I can sense her frustration towards me-- she couldn't keep me out of Primary-- I went over her directly to the bishop to get a calling and I'm not inactive so that she and others can say to themselves --" well, if they would just come to church more often....", "they just must not be that righteous...", "that person is just so hard to work with...", etc., etc.

I can't wait to get out of here and deal with a different set of problems!!

What I have learned from being shunned at Church

I recently posted about not being given a calling for 18 months after I had the twins even though I had offered to help in different areas. I think I last wrote when I realized that I was being shunned and realized that something was very wrong. I tried to make an appointment with the bishop- but that is a long story- suffice it to say that I finally got his ear and felt that he understood my situation and why I had to talk to him only. He thanked me for my patience- I reminded him that I am a mother of 7- I have developed a good amount of patience thus far. Anyway, I felt much better and my burden was lifted.

Actually I really started feeling better after a heartfelt prayer I had the day after I first got his attention and set an appointment directly with him for the following day. I poured my heart out to the Lord in prayer and I was instantly calmed. One of my concerns was that some of the people who were treating my badly in the ward would have influence over my precious children. I really did not like the idea of sending them off to people who don't like me. Anyway, I felt calm and peace and also the assurance that the Lord knows, he understands and their incompetence will not affect my overall purpose in life. They can't take away my influence as a mother to my children. The Lord will give me opportunities to serve at a later date.

For now I think I have learned some valuable lessons. The first is how awful it can feel to go to church. I have a very strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and of the divinity of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but it was really hard to go to church for a while. I understand how those who go inactive must feel. It is not that they have necessarily lost their testimony-- they just may feel like they are different and on the outside. There may be some people there that they just don't want to see or have contact with or be reminded about how rotten things have gotten. I have never really been on the "inside" of any social group, but it has never really bothered me. But to feel so on the "outside" at church was really hard- because that is supposed to be a place where you can feel safe and loved. I am much more empathetic than I have been in the past. There is nothing like experiencing it for yourself.

I am very much relieved because I did my part. I kept going to church. I realized that it is not the primary president's church or the bishop's church-- it is the Lord's church. I tried to talk to people in the hall and to anybody that looked like they needed a smile. I stopped talking to other people who pretended to be my friends and really aren't. I was polite if I saw them, but I have to admit it felt good to show them that they couldn't push me out or down. Regardless of what they did to me intentionally or unintentionally I would still do what is right. I decided that I would not avoid them- I would watch out for my kids regardless of what they might think. I substituted a couple times and just did my part without fanfare or attention. I didn't make a big deal of anything. I was polite and made it through the church day although it was hard to do. It gave me courage to know that this is Christ's church and he wants us all to feel welcome in his church. That gave me courage to reach out to people I normally wouldn't have reached. I made and delivered loaves of bread a couple times to people I just thought might appreciate it. And I was right- they did appreciate it. I found that I was not the only one feeling shunned.

I was optimistic that I had reached the bishop, probably in a way that anyone any less patient could not have reached him. Two months passed with no word, but I felt that I had had my say and it was not my responsibility to contact the bishop again. Then this week he just showed up at our doorstep one evening and wanted to chat. He let me know he had thrown my name out there and still there were no takers- no calling for me. I let him know that since my son's cub scout leader was moving that I would be taking that over until they called someone new so that there would be continuity. We visited for awhile and I think he saw further what I had been saying. Today he issued me 2 callings in the primary which I am thankful for. I think he realizes that he had to go and fix it himself because auxiliaries were not giving me opportunities that I should have. I am very thankful.

I am still annoyed at the primary president and a few other annoying people who seem to constantly be in callings of influence. I think they could really benefit by experiencing what I have experienced over the past couple years. But I am watching some changes happen and I'm sure there will be more. I am not afraid to speak my mind to anyone in the ward about things that affect me or my children. In a way by being pushed out I was liberated. I was able to see and show myself that I am not dependent on people for my testimony or my faithfulness in the gospel. I was able to overcome the feelings of betrayal I felt and deal with those people in a healthy way. I am stronger and more confident in my thoughts and abilities. I have been able to forgive them all and thus not worry about being around them or having to work with them. It is still annoying, but I can handle them.

Another thing I have learned is that I need to make sure that I have positive interactions each week so that I don't have to rely on my ward as a social outlet. I attend to worship my God, not to make friends. I need to make sure I am fair to people- not all of them are responsible for my shunning. I have to treat them all as best I can. I am not afraid and it is very nice! I do much better when I make sure to meet at least another mom friend for a field trip or to visit. Life is good. I am grateful for the experience-- hopefully I've learned my lesson and I can enjoy a better church- going experience! Things always change- and when things are looking bad- it's nice to remember that they won't stay bad and it will get better!!

Mostly I'm thankful to my Heavenly Father for being so perfect and being there for me. Prayer is real. Forgiveness is real. God is real.