Anxiety and Adrenal glands

I really wasn't feeling well last month. I had a couple migraine auras, I would feel slightly dizzy and have a weird feeling behind my eyes. I realized that I needed to make getting enough sleep a top priority. I bought warm sleepers for the twins and the baby, made sure the one who always wets his pants has a diaper, made sure all the animals were taken care of and made sure I went to bed as early as possible. Also when I feel like I need a break, I take it and lie down. It took about a month of this, letting some things go and such that I started feeling better. But I still wasn't sure exactly what was going on with me, I eat about as healthy as anyone could possibly eat, I was starting to worry a bit, brain tumor, hypoglycemia? Finally I realized that I have pretty much all the symptoms of anxiety plus it runs in my family. I was relieved to have a reason that I could learn to deal with and conquer and then I had to figure out what was causing it. First of all, being the mother of 8 needy children including twins and a baby is not a calm serene type of life. I love it, I am a pretty patient person, but it does wear on me. It also makes it extremely difficult to keep the house clean which when it gets super out of control instead of just regular out of control, I get overwhelmed and apparently anxious. Slowing down and taking care of myself was exactly what I needed to do. The other thing that is not a happy stress that was causing me anxiety is my stupid ward. Once I realized that trying to deal with them all the time was affecting me physically, I decided that I just won't deal with them right now until I am more stable. I need a break from their stupidness. So we are only attending sacrament meeting each week and taking a break from the auxiliaries. I feel so at peace with this decision right now. It is so much better to just decide beforehand how much involvement everyone will have until either we feel more accepted and more trusting of the people who are in charge of the activities and meetings for our children. My daughter told me how she misses going to all of church, and I do to. Hopefully we will have that good feeling at church again. For now I feel like the right thing to do is to follow our conscience or the Spirit and not go. If we didn't have kids then I would go to the whole thing and try to help people and give comments and such, but as it is, they have completely marginalized me and it is just not worth losing my health over it. On a good note, my husband finished his awesome website. It is not growing very much yet, so he will try to get a job and wait for it to grow. We got to switch roles today. I did some cold calling-- not effective-- and he helped the kids with their schoolwork and washed some dishes. I missed my kids even as overwhelming and hard as it can be sometimes, I like my job home with them way better. I will miss these days. It was fun to have a change of pace for a day and it helped me get my mind on something positive to work towards rather than thinking about defending myself and kids from our ward. I think that's really what I need, is to focus on some positive things. It's hard to do when you don't get out much because you homeschool 8 kids of a wide span of ages. It was fun. The other thing I learned researching about anxiety is that I'm pretty sure my adrenals are shot from all the fight or flight hormones that have been running constantly since the twins were born and we've had to constantly be on guard at church except for the blessed year of recovery til our ward split. But I'm grateful to have a name and some understanding of what has been going on with me. Things can only get better! Speaking of which, I'd better go to bed!