Pregnancy

I thought I was past morning sickness, but I'm probably not as far along as I thought and although I had a decent week this week and was able to function mostly normally I started getting a headache last night and I've had it off and on all day today, and I haven't done much at all today. It is really frustrating and pregnancy is really really hard. I of course don't remember any of these hard things from previous pregnancies so my husband told me he really wants me write this down so I can remember. I have no memory of my only natural childbirth either. I remember no pain. All I see is my cute almost 2 yr olds and think oh they're so cute and then we decide to have another and boom-- I'm sick for 2 months. It is really crappy. I know it will be more than worth it in the end, but wow, pregnancy is tough. It truly is a sacrifice, very worth it, but very hard.

Baby #8 is already making his/ her mark in the World

I think each child I have had has taught me something. Having so many children has forced me to learn how to clean efficiently and organize my home-- I don't think I ever would have gotten around to it with only 3 children. I'm still not very clean, but I'm much better than I would have been without being responsible for so many. I've also learned to put my children first and read to them at night even though I'm tired, and make sure I am available to help them with whatever school work they need help with, and just take care of them and make sure they are doing what they are supposed to do. It has taken a lot of time and attention to figure out how to get it all to work. I'm far from perfect, but I'm much further along that road because of my children.

Even with 5 kids, I was handling my life fine-- I had time to learn how to play the guitar, time to read and time to learn all sorts of cooking and food prep. Enter the twins-- I went from 5 kids to 7 and it was rough. I am jut 5'2" tall, so the pregnancy was very heavy for me. By the end I could hardly walk and I struggled to finish the dishes by sitting on a stool, I also sat on a stool to cook. The pregnancy was hard from the beginning-- I was twice as sick the first trimester and twice as big the 3rd, the 2nd was O.K. I was too tired to do anything besides take care of my 5 children and my pregnant self. Once the babies were born I literally could do nothing except take care of those babies, pull meals together and read to the kids or help them with their schoolwork while I nursed those twins. There wasn't enough time to clean, our house was really, really messy. The kids would have helped, but it was so out of control that they just couldn't because they wouldn't know where to start. I did have meals brought in at first and my mom helped with laundry, but wow-- the whole year is kind of a blur. I loved those babies and enjoyed them, but there was no time for book clubs or playing the guitar. We barely made it to our homeschool group once a week. School was O.K. because I could do that while I nursed, but that is about all I did. I don't even remember much about Christmas because I think it was still a blur. Once those babies turned 1, my life started to ease up. I was ready to join back into life and social events as I am a very social person.

That was a rude awakening. My 3 best friends had moved during that year and 3 others the year before. The couple of friends who were left who I had done things with when my older kids were young no longer had babies. They were entering the phase of motherhood where the youngest child goes off to school and they suddenly have some newfound freedom and opportunities. I felt like everybody left me behind, and I think they did. It was time for me to grow further and it was time for our family to move to a better environment closer to my husband's work. That didn't turn out to be very easy, and only after it got really hard for not just me, but for the kids, we knew we had to force the move and just do it. We are in the process now- still haven't moved, but we are feeling much better because we are building a great house in a great neighborhood and area for our family. Things I've learned and experience I've gained from these experiences are really due to those twins.

I read that only about 0.5% of women nowadays have 7 children or more. In Utah, there are a good number of families with 4 and 5 kids, 6 is less common but accepted as normal, and very few families have 7 or more children. So I think I was considered "normal" with my 7 because the last 2 were twins and that is "acceptable". Those twins are so cute and so sweet. They are worth every pain I endured. With a promotion at work and a new house being built with plenty of room and a feeling of someone missing, we decided to have another baby. I am no longer considered "normal" even though it is just one more kid than my 7. Some people are having a hard time accepting it. I find myself growing again, going against the culture and defending my freedom of choice and being fine with staying away from negative people and just doing what I think is best regardless of what others say or think.

So far baby #8 has already changed my life forever. I am officially "unusual" now and officially in the BIG family club. I do have a very nice big family group I'm a part of and those ladies are wonderful and very encouraging. I have some good friends with varying sizes of families who are supportive of me and that make me feel good.

I read a quote by Joseph Smith the other day that perfectly describes how I feel about this:

When persons manifest the least kindness and love to me, O what power it has over my mind, while the opposite course has a tendency to harrow up all the harsh feelings and depress the human mind.

( this is from Daughters in My Kingdom page 23)

I had no idea there was even so much to learn and do in this life. Thank you baby #8, I am already a better person because of you. Thank you to my husband for always being there for me-- at least we have each other!! Thank you to all my sweet and good children for putting up with me and loving me despite my weaknesses. Thank you to all the people who have shown love to me even though they may not understand me or even know me or have met me in person. Thank you to anyone who has been kind to me and smiled despite the throng of children usually following me around. Thank you for being nice. Going against the grain is not an easy thing to do-- there are plenty who mock and don't even try to understand. Thank you to you for being a true friend.

p.s., the morning sickness is finally starting to subside, I exercised for the first time today in about 6 weeks-- it felt sooooooo good-- I should be pretty much back to normal in a week or 2 so I'm sure I'll be back on here posting updates-- the past few weeks have been rather boring with me laying down and resting every time the twins go to bed. Fortunately my kids watch so little TV that they actually guiltily like it when I'm sick because then they pretty much get to watch as much TV as they want. My husband was sick last week too so they had a couple days of marathon Curios George shows on Netflix. They're hoping to watch a lot of Kipper too, but I'm starting to feel better and I made them all do aerobics and yoga with me today. They'll thank me later!!

Just be nice!!!

Life is too short for meanness and cruelty. Sometimes we think we're not being mean by making fun of someone-- we're just joking. Maybe we think we're not being by talking bad about someone's faults when they're not there-- we're just trying to find a way to help them. The worst is passive agressiveness by people who are supposed to be nice- so they won't be outright rude or mean to someone-- they will just be on the lookout for that person's failure in anything so that they can subtletly point it out at an embarrassing moment for that person. They take secret pleasure when life is difficult for others.

We don't know what each other is going through. We don't know the pain we can cause, especially to those who trust us. Betrayal is such a terrible feeling.

Just be nice. Look for the good in people all the time and let them know. Overlook their faults and build them up. Give them opportunities to do good things if you can and be happy for them when they succeed. Be kind, say nice things, don't make fun of people. A kind word and a smile can do wonders for anybody. Life is tough enough, it is almost unbearable when surrounded by ridicule. Be nice!!!

This is from 2 Nephi 27:31,32 in the Book of Mormon:

31 For assuredly as the Lord liveth they shall see that the terrible one is brought to naught, and the scorner is consumed, and all that watch for iniquity are cut off;

32 And they that make a man an offender for a word, and lay a snare for him that reproveth in the gate, and turn aside the just for a thing of naught.

go Ron Paul!!!!

I whole-heartily support Ron Paul's views on the Constitution, the Fed, economic policy and FREEDOM from big government. I think he totally understands the constitution and the proper role of government. I like his idea of being non-interventionist around the world and that we need to get out of all these wars, and use that money saved to take care of things here at home. Like he told Jay Leno-- his message hasn't changed in 30 years, but people are finally fed up with what's been happening to the country and the loss of our freedoms and his message is resonating with the people. Now he's ahead in the polls for the Iowa caucus which is a big deal. The Republican elites have been trying to ignore him, but they can't any longer. So watch for a smear campaign against him and we also need to watch the election and make sure it's not stolen. I read that Iowa is taking precautions such as using paper ballots as a backup in case there are odd results as there have been in other elections especially with these stupid voting machines that are really not very secure. www.infowars.com has lots of good article on the state of the nation and Ron Paul if you want to read more.

Anyway go Ron Paul-- keep it up and thanks for staying in the race and explaining so much about the constitution, gold standard, freedom and the proper role of government!!

Kids and Cameras

I am taking my camera back. My girls love to set up scenes with their dolls, playmobil or legos and take a ton of pictures. I have a ton of pictures of stuffed animals at the Monte L Bean life science museum with no kids in them. I like pictures of people especially my kids and I kind of let my girls take over the camera thinking they were getting some good shots of the kids-- WRONG!! There are some, but not nearly as many as I would have taken and not nearly as good-- plus the camera gets filled up with junk pictures so it's not available for the really good pictures. Both girls now have their own cameras and I will be guarding mine-- I'm the only one who will be allowed to use it-- when the boys are ready to take pictures, I'll get them their own cameras!! That's it!!! I'm taking control of the situation!!! Also got a new refill kit for the printer so I can print too!! What a hassle photography can be-- one I don't like to delve into as you can tell by the number of photos I post here!

Cleansing, Life

I sure do try to do a lot of things sometimes. I have realized that it is physically impossible for me to do as much work as there is to do around here- there jsut simply aren't enough hours in the day. This means that the kids have got to help more, and I will have to make them. Not a great prospect come tomorrow after a long weekend of playing around, and the necessity of doing schoolwork!

I am also in the midst of an awful cleanse. I started 2 weeks ago thinking I would ease into it for a week and just eat fruits and veggies, then move on to the deep cleansing with juices and broths and herbs and be done by now. Well, I got a new book on cleansing the bowel, so I've never done this cleanse, but it's a lot cheaper than the one I like doing the most of course, anyway, it took me some time to get all the supplies and get going with it. I'm hating it so far, but I know my body really, really needs it and we really can't afford $500 to do the other one. If it really doesn't work, then we'll have to cough up the $500. I wish insurance would cover that great cleanse. They'll cover medication and surgery, but for me colonics and herbal cleanses are what keep me healthy and avoiding medication and surgery. I guess even without insurance paying, it's more cost effective in the end- not to mention quality of life. But the cleanse I'm doing now will be even better if it works because I won't have to depend on anybody else-- going to an appt. or anything.

We'll see though, because I am REALLY tired of salad and watermelon and tomorrow I start the juice phase for 3 days. I hope I make it, my herbal combinations aren't as good as having it already made for me.

We also got the little goats. They were so loud going back to their pen. They've been quiet ever since, so I think it will work out. I hope it's worth the cost-- you know that goat's milk really does help the kids in their growth. I'm about halfway through The China Study, so I'm just not sure. The kids like them though, and they learn a lot about animals, nature, biology and responsibility taking care of the animals.

So glad we'll be moving. I hope it goes by quickly! The Lord really does watch out for us, but I don't really like growing and stretching. I'm glad in the end that I'm a better person with more understanding, but when I'm going through it, I just want it to be over. Patience, patience.

We got the Lot!!!

I am so happy. We have our lot for sure, they are drawing up the plans and now we just have to wait for the building permit and they can start building. I'm sure other issues will arise, but now we are really going to move there and we can stop wondering if we should try to find something else. Yay!!

Why do we often get pushed to our limit before something good happens?