Baby #8 is already making his/ her mark in the World

I think each child I have had has taught me something. Having so many children has forced me to learn how to clean efficiently and organize my home-- I don't think I ever would have gotten around to it with only 3 children. I'm still not very clean, but I'm much better than I would have been without being responsible for so many. I've also learned to put my children first and read to them at night even though I'm tired, and make sure I am available to help them with whatever school work they need help with, and just take care of them and make sure they are doing what they are supposed to do. It has taken a lot of time and attention to figure out how to get it all to work. I'm far from perfect, but I'm much further along that road because of my children.

Even with 5 kids, I was handling my life fine-- I had time to learn how to play the guitar, time to read and time to learn all sorts of cooking and food prep. Enter the twins-- I went from 5 kids to 7 and it was rough. I am jut 5'2" tall, so the pregnancy was very heavy for me. By the end I could hardly walk and I struggled to finish the dishes by sitting on a stool, I also sat on a stool to cook. The pregnancy was hard from the beginning-- I was twice as sick the first trimester and twice as big the 3rd, the 2nd was O.K. I was too tired to do anything besides take care of my 5 children and my pregnant self. Once the babies were born I literally could do nothing except take care of those babies, pull meals together and read to the kids or help them with their schoolwork while I nursed those twins. There wasn't enough time to clean, our house was really, really messy. The kids would have helped, but it was so out of control that they just couldn't because they wouldn't know where to start. I did have meals brought in at first and my mom helped with laundry, but wow-- the whole year is kind of a blur. I loved those babies and enjoyed them, but there was no time for book clubs or playing the guitar. We barely made it to our homeschool group once a week. School was O.K. because I could do that while I nursed, but that is about all I did. I don't even remember much about Christmas because I think it was still a blur. Once those babies turned 1, my life started to ease up. I was ready to join back into life and social events as I am a very social person.

That was a rude awakening. My 3 best friends had moved during that year and 3 others the year before. The couple of friends who were left who I had done things with when my older kids were young no longer had babies. They were entering the phase of motherhood where the youngest child goes off to school and they suddenly have some newfound freedom and opportunities. I felt like everybody left me behind, and I think they did. It was time for me to grow further and it was time for our family to move to a better environment closer to my husband's work. That didn't turn out to be very easy, and only after it got really hard for not just me, but for the kids, we knew we had to force the move and just do it. We are in the process now- still haven't moved, but we are feeling much better because we are building a great house in a great neighborhood and area for our family. Things I've learned and experience I've gained from these experiences are really due to those twins.

I read that only about 0.5% of women nowadays have 7 children or more. In Utah, there are a good number of families with 4 and 5 kids, 6 is less common but accepted as normal, and very few families have 7 or more children. So I think I was considered "normal" with my 7 because the last 2 were twins and that is "acceptable". Those twins are so cute and so sweet. They are worth every pain I endured. With a promotion at work and a new house being built with plenty of room and a feeling of someone missing, we decided to have another baby. I am no longer considered "normal" even though it is just one more kid than my 7. Some people are having a hard time accepting it. I find myself growing again, going against the culture and defending my freedom of choice and being fine with staying away from negative people and just doing what I think is best regardless of what others say or think.

So far baby #8 has already changed my life forever. I am officially "unusual" now and officially in the BIG family club. I do have a very nice big family group I'm a part of and those ladies are wonderful and very encouraging. I have some good friends with varying sizes of families who are supportive of me and that make me feel good.

I read a quote by Joseph Smith the other day that perfectly describes how I feel about this:

When persons manifest the least kindness and love to me, O what power it has over my mind, while the opposite course has a tendency to harrow up all the harsh feelings and depress the human mind.

( this is from Daughters in My Kingdom page 23)

I had no idea there was even so much to learn and do in this life. Thank you baby #8, I am already a better person because of you. Thank you to my husband for always being there for me-- at least we have each other!! Thank you to all my sweet and good children for putting up with me and loving me despite my weaknesses. Thank you to all the people who have shown love to me even though they may not understand me or even know me or have met me in person. Thank you to anyone who has been kind to me and smiled despite the throng of children usually following me around. Thank you for being nice. Going against the grain is not an easy thing to do-- there are plenty who mock and don't even try to understand. Thank you to you for being a true friend.

p.s., the morning sickness is finally starting to subside, I exercised for the first time today in about 6 weeks-- it felt sooooooo good-- I should be pretty much back to normal in a week or 2 so I'm sure I'll be back on here posting updates-- the past few weeks have been rather boring with me laying down and resting every time the twins go to bed. Fortunately my kids watch so little TV that they actually guiltily like it when I'm sick because then they pretty much get to watch as much TV as they want. My husband was sick last week too so they had a couple days of marathon Curios George shows on Netflix. They're hoping to watch a lot of Kipper too, but I'm starting to feel better and I made them all do aerobics and yoga with me today. They'll thank me later!!

Transition-- STIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL............

Today was a little rough. As I've mentioned before we have been driving an hour each way to church each Sunday. We have to leave by 8 a.m. to get there on time. We didn't get up until 7:30 am last week, so this week we made sure to get everybody bathed Sat. night, but I forgot about gathering all their clothes. It didn't actually take that long to find them all, but it was just more than I could bear. I'm just running out of steam. We were very late again this week. It would be easier if we knew that we would get the lot we want and build the house we want on it to be in that ward and that neighborhood. I hate this uncertainty. I broke down and cried on the way there and held back tears when everybody was so friendly to me and wanted to know about us.

It's nice but it's hard to be so uncertain. I can't really tell them anything yet. It is a great ward, and they have all been really nice to us, but we aren't really a part of them yet. We can't move our records until we get our lot, and the builder/owner is being the same way with our new builder that they were with us- not returning calls, not making appts., etc. so it is moving way too slow-- it has now been 2 weeks since we signed with them and now it's Thanksgiving so we probably still won't hear from them this week. Day after day we wait, day after day, there's nothing new to report. Meanwhile, it's getting colder and snowier and later in the year. Plus the new ward isn't perfect. I'm very sensitive to picking out people's tendencies to be cliquish and mean and this ward does have a few of those. So it's hard to go, but I always leave feeling very thankful and glad that we did go (we did skip nursery and sunbeams though- the twins and the 4 yr old won't go to their classes without us-- we just drove around and talked/complained).

The other kids are very happy there. They all have friends. They all feel included and supported. I think the people are genuinely caring and kind overall, so we will continue going for the kids. It makes it worth it. I can hang on and keep going for them. I will just have to step up to the next level of organization again. I would never be well organized without all these cute kids. They have made me better than I every though possible and I guess there's still plenty of room for growth.

I do hope we will have something more definite soon. I hope we get that lot so that they can finally start the process of getting the permit and getting started on the house. Life is really tough sometimes. It's hard to fit everything in with all this driving. I think my cleaning time has suffered the most. I just have to make the kids follow through on their chores better. I think our new house will work out, but this is definitely the roughest transition we've ever had to make. Patience, faith, ENDURANCE. I will really try harder to not murmur.

kid stuff

#2 told my brother how she wants to be journalist because it uses no math at all, she also sold him 4 slingshots she makes out of sticks she finds in the backyard for $1.

I took #1 to milk the goat this morning, someone is supposed to be taking that goat, but not yet, she came back while I was getting the bucket to say that the goat was gone, I went to do a double take, and the goat was there!!

Miracle Music is a miracle you never saw so many little feet run to make their bed!

I'm so tired I can't remember any more funny sayings right now-- but they are plentiful. We laugh all the time. The twins are especially cute. #6 tries to push his brothers off my lap, and they both fold their arms and they want to get certain things themselves.

#4, 5 are really cute too. I watched a lot of jumping and rolling on couch cushions today. They built a huge fort out of them. "watch Mom", "watch again!!" very fun, very good kids!

Snap up those Onesies- (kinda gross)

I have definitely had some yucky things to deal with this week. First I had to deal with a breast infection which I never had with any of the other 5 kids. I think it is because nursing twins it is just about impossible to wean them gradually. I had flu like symptons for an evening, but I took a bunch of herbs and a long hot bath and although I was still sore I didn't feel sick anymore. But I did sleep in for a couple days so the house has gotten out of control. My husband took us all out to eat, that helped a little. Tomorrow is Saturday so hopefully we can get caught up and on a good cleaning schedule.

The gross thing was of course the evening I had the flu like symptoms, my husband was gone on church business and we heard the babies crying ready to get up from their late nap. My oldest daughter offered to go get them. She was soon screaming for me. I ran in to find her holding both babies and one of them was covered in poop. I saw that there was an open diaper in his crib and so I started to clean him (#7) first. He had poop in both fists and down his leg and on his clothes. I was very surprised to find that his diaper was in tact. Upon further inspection I found some little bits of poop in #6's crib and a big pile in #7's crib right next to #6's crib. The diaper itself was farther away from #6's crib. #6 was pretty clean although diaperless.

Somehow #7 pulled #6's poopy diaper through the bars of both cribs into his own and curious boy that he is-- examined it thoroughly I think. They both got baths, clean diapers, clean clothes and clean sheets. I know I've cleaned up pretty gross stuff other times, but I don't think I have recorded it. I know these days will end, and I want to have good stories to tell my teenagers and grown children about how much I must have loved them. I think this is a pretty good one-- but I think they'd still know I love them without it.

So-- don't be lazy like I was and leave those onesies unsnapped!! Snap those onesies. It took a while to clean up that mess!!

Mothering and Housekeeping

I think I know why mothering and housekeeping can be so incredibly overwhelming--

It is because when the mother looks around everything is in disarray even though she hasn't sat down since she got up that morning-- there is no evidence that she has done anything at all all day long.

Here are some important but invisible jobs:

Cooking involves making a mess and then eating up all that work- not to
be seen except as evidenced by a bunch of dirty dishes
Cleaning-- it sure doesn't last very long
Laundry-- same as above and I like it hidden in the laundry closet
Changing diapers-- those changed diapers just get thrown out
Feeding children
Finding things for children like socks, shoes and coats- they wind up
in the most mysterious places like under the couch
Helping children with schoolwork-- this takes time and patience and
there is nothing to see from the effort
Reading to the children-- this I love to do, but the result is not
tangible

These are all important but not visible. It's all worth it for those happy, cute, smiling kids.

Mother's Day by my daughter age 11

Mother's Day

Today is the day
When Mothers get their way.
No one will scream or yell
Not even do a tattle tale.
When presents are passed along
Everyone sings a song.
Flowers come in May
Winter! Winter! go away!
Music may fill Mothers ears
And remind her of the Happy Years
Children is the reason why you are a mother
You must teach them to love one another
Birds will chirp and sing
You may hear bells ring
Sometimes Mothers ask for strange presents
not stuff and elepheasants
When this is her way
Everyone.....

Happy Mother's Day!


Pretty good-uh!! What a happy day. I got to sleep in a bit. I'm very thankful to have 1 o'clock church this year!! I got lots of cards and happy wishes and flowers and 1 1/2 tons of compost from the dump-- that may be the strange present. I also want a valve replaced for my garden and some ink for the printer-- stuff we just don't get around to sometimes, but on mother's day and my b-day I get what I want!! Thanks! And happy Mother's day to all the mothers out there!!

Our First Week of Homeschool for the New Year!!

We officially started school this year last Friday for our first Friday Fun Day. The plan is to cover all the core subjects (Reading, Writing, Math, Greek, Science, History, Literature, Spelling) from Monday to Thursday. Then Friday will be an enrichment day where we'll study art, artists, music, composers and play games and do activities. Friday turned out great. The kids loved it, (except for the 1st grader for the first part --he didn't want to play the recorder, but did later after being in time-out for awhile). We set up the desks like a real school and basically played school. We also learned a song in Spanish and a song in French. I decided to go ahead and do both languages this year. The Europeans learn a bunch of languages, so why can't we? We'll see how it goes.

Unfortunately, the rest of the week didn't go so smoothly, starting with Monday. We ended up getting new carpet that day and having a mold clean-up crew come on Tuesday and Wednesday because of a leak in the shower we didn't know about. We were without air conditioning on Thursday, and it was hot, but at least we could use the bathrooms. Also, my kids are so out of the habit of doing anything difficult because of my laxness this summer, that it was a real struggle to actually do any work at all. The 5th and 3rd grade girls basically just did math, a little bit of journaling and one composition this week. The preschooler and 1st grader fulfilled their requirements of handwriting, math and reading each day, because it doesn't take them long at all. But I really missed doing the fun part of homeschool which is reading stories and great literature to the kids, learning history and science, singing songs together, memorizing scriptures and learning languages and grammar. That's the fun part we missed this first week.

The girls took an average of 2 hours working on their math assignments because they are so out of the habit of concentrating. I've decided though, that that math has to be done first thing when their little brains are the most fresh, and we'll keep the fun and interesting stuff for after lunch. Had I had my house together and not under construction, I think we would have done better, but overall I think it was pretty good given the circumstances. I really hope the girls will move along better in math next week, so that we can do the fun stuff, but it may take them another week to acclimate to that math concentrating part of their brains. I just about have to sit with each of them individually to remind them to look at their book and write down the answers to the problems. They have gotten a little better each day though, and it is very rewarding to see the sense of satisfaction they feel when they are finally done!!

I can't wait to get my house and life back together. I feel like we went on another long vacation. Hopefully I can get a lot done this weekend so that we can do all the things I hope to do this week!! By the way, the twins are boys and look good so far-- that will be 5 boys in a row-- I'm a little nervous. I am really going to have to find ways to keep them out of trouble!! My 3 boys seem to get wilder everyday, they really need the fun stuff. They love listening to stories and learning songs. Once we get the house organized, I hope they will calm down a little bit. At least I can send them outside!!!

Motherhood -- What makes a Super Mom?

Cnn.com had a self report topic at the bottom of their page today on Super moms.

http://www.ireport.com/ir-topic-stories.jspa?topicId=219983

It saddens me to see women, good women, good mothers write about and really believe that to be a super mom you have to balance work and home responsibilities or run a business. One lady was in the military when her baby was born, and she left the baby soon after to fulfill her orders, then came back and finished school and is now working to go to law school and is pregnant with baby #3. They write as though working and sending your baby to daycare is the norm.

It did look like there may have been some that actually stayed home and took care of their own children. There was one who worked on a family business and homeschooled her kids and worked with them, so obviously she got to spend time with them. I hope there were others, and honestly most the people I know stay home with their kids and really enjoy them.

Why do we need more than that? Why isn't the following description of a supermom enough?:

I quit work and stayed home with my baby from the time she/he was born. My education, my glory, my objectives were put on hold. Now it is my turn to give to my baby what I was given or wish I had been given. Her/his needs come first. Baby/Toddler/child needs time and that's what I give. Daddy works to support us as any real and honorable man should. We do whatever it takes to keep me home. I want to be the one to clean off those sticky hands and face. I want to be the one to put that little guy in his crib for a nap. I want to be the one that baby runs to in time of need. I even want to be the one who changes diapers and potty trains!! That's a mother!! That's it!! With little kids, just keeping the house somewhat clean and meals on the table is a huge accomplishment enough to be a SUPERMOM!!

Does this mean that a mother shouldn't do anything that doesn't involve her children? Of course not!! It just means that in the list of priorities, the children are first. They grow fast. They are only little once. There will be plenty of time to do other things when they are grown. But there will be no way to go back to their childhood. It doesn't take much Mom time to feel refreshed because being a mother takes brainpower and skill, and it is very rewarding to see your children growing up and figuring things out. Mothers do so much that we take for granted until we try it such as: running a household, serving nutritious meals, gardening, exercising, cooking, cleaning, organizing, beautifying, understanding child development, teaching, nurturing, nursing, learning patience and love and the list goes on and on!! Mothers even get more time to do things they enjoy like read, write, play music, play with the kids, discover a new world through the eyes of the child, teach a completely clean slate etc. And when those tired little people take a nap or go to bed--you get to do what you want.

Does this mean, it is easy? No!! Nothing worthwhile is easy. But it is worth the effort and the so-called sacrifice.

I feel pretty fortunate to admit that staying home has never felt like a sacrifice to me. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed every minute of it. I know it is not a possibility for everyone. I especially feel for single mothers who have no husband to care for them and their children. That is very sad. But it does seem like more could stay home than do. It's really not good in this kind of economy either, because so many households depend on 2 incomes and the probability of one of the wage earners losing their job is that much higher putting more families at risk, plus that 2nd income earner is not there to take a new job til things get better. It is just bad news for the family, there's no cushion.

Am I glad I chose to stay home and was able to have a bunch of babies? Yes!! I love it. I learn something new everyday and I know that my work is worthwhile and my kids know that I love them and that I am there for them. Is is hard sometimes? Yes, but then they will say something cute and make it all better. Will I regret it? I doubt it. I was fortunate to travel a bunch, graduate from college, work a little, compete in sports, and do other interesting things, and none of it compared even slightly to the experience of being a mother. There really was nothing better to me!! I know they will continue to grow way too fast, my oldest is almost 10, and I don't want to miss a minute. I want no regrets--don't they always say that people on their deathbeds seldom wish they had worked longer hours, but they often wish they had spent more time with the people they love.

To close this rant here is a quote from the visiting teaching message for February 2009 from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Relief Society of the church is the largest women's organization in the world):

Julie B. Beck, Relief Society general president: “I have a testimony gained from pondering and studying the scriptures of a plan of happiness given to us by our Father in Heaven. That plan has a part for His daughters. We have the female half to take care of, and if we don’t do our part, no one else is going to do it for us. The half of our Father’s plan that creates life, that nurtures souls, that promotes growth, that influences everything else was given to us. We can’t delegate it. We can’t pass it off to anyone. It’s ours. We can refuse it, we can deny it, but it’s still our part, and we’re accountable for it. There will come a day when we will all remember what we knew before we were born. We will remember that we fought in a great conflict for this privilege. How do we meet this responsibility? We daily put our energies into the work that is uniquely ours to do.”

I couldn't have said it better myself. Enjoy your children, spend as much time as you possibly can with them. Stay home with them, watch the bugs and the clouds and the trees and the sky with them. That's a SUPER MOM!!!