Motherhood -- What makes a Super Mom?

Cnn.com had a self report topic at the bottom of their page today on Super moms.

http://www.ireport.com/ir-topic-stories.jspa?topicId=219983

It saddens me to see women, good women, good mothers write about and really believe that to be a super mom you have to balance work and home responsibilities or run a business. One lady was in the military when her baby was born, and she left the baby soon after to fulfill her orders, then came back and finished school and is now working to go to law school and is pregnant with baby #3. They write as though working and sending your baby to daycare is the norm.

It did look like there may have been some that actually stayed home and took care of their own children. There was one who worked on a family business and homeschooled her kids and worked with them, so obviously she got to spend time with them. I hope there were others, and honestly most the people I know stay home with their kids and really enjoy them.

Why do we need more than that? Why isn't the following description of a supermom enough?:

I quit work and stayed home with my baby from the time she/he was born. My education, my glory, my objectives were put on hold. Now it is my turn to give to my baby what I was given or wish I had been given. Her/his needs come first. Baby/Toddler/child needs time and that's what I give. Daddy works to support us as any real and honorable man should. We do whatever it takes to keep me home. I want to be the one to clean off those sticky hands and face. I want to be the one to put that little guy in his crib for a nap. I want to be the one that baby runs to in time of need. I even want to be the one who changes diapers and potty trains!! That's a mother!! That's it!! With little kids, just keeping the house somewhat clean and meals on the table is a huge accomplishment enough to be a SUPERMOM!!

Does this mean that a mother shouldn't do anything that doesn't involve her children? Of course not!! It just means that in the list of priorities, the children are first. They grow fast. They are only little once. There will be plenty of time to do other things when they are grown. But there will be no way to go back to their childhood. It doesn't take much Mom time to feel refreshed because being a mother takes brainpower and skill, and it is very rewarding to see your children growing up and figuring things out. Mothers do so much that we take for granted until we try it such as: running a household, serving nutritious meals, gardening, exercising, cooking, cleaning, organizing, beautifying, understanding child development, teaching, nurturing, nursing, learning patience and love and the list goes on and on!! Mothers even get more time to do things they enjoy like read, write, play music, play with the kids, discover a new world through the eyes of the child, teach a completely clean slate etc. And when those tired little people take a nap or go to bed--you get to do what you want.

Does this mean, it is easy? No!! Nothing worthwhile is easy. But it is worth the effort and the so-called sacrifice.

I feel pretty fortunate to admit that staying home has never felt like a sacrifice to me. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed every minute of it. I know it is not a possibility for everyone. I especially feel for single mothers who have no husband to care for them and their children. That is very sad. But it does seem like more could stay home than do. It's really not good in this kind of economy either, because so many households depend on 2 incomes and the probability of one of the wage earners losing their job is that much higher putting more families at risk, plus that 2nd income earner is not there to take a new job til things get better. It is just bad news for the family, there's no cushion.

Am I glad I chose to stay home and was able to have a bunch of babies? Yes!! I love it. I learn something new everyday and I know that my work is worthwhile and my kids know that I love them and that I am there for them. Is is hard sometimes? Yes, but then they will say something cute and make it all better. Will I regret it? I doubt it. I was fortunate to travel a bunch, graduate from college, work a little, compete in sports, and do other interesting things, and none of it compared even slightly to the experience of being a mother. There really was nothing better to me!! I know they will continue to grow way too fast, my oldest is almost 10, and I don't want to miss a minute. I want no regrets--don't they always say that people on their deathbeds seldom wish they had worked longer hours, but they often wish they had spent more time with the people they love.

To close this rant here is a quote from the visiting teaching message for February 2009 from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Relief Society of the church is the largest women's organization in the world):

Julie B. Beck, Relief Society general president: “I have a testimony gained from pondering and studying the scriptures of a plan of happiness given to us by our Father in Heaven. That plan has a part for His daughters. We have the female half to take care of, and if we don’t do our part, no one else is going to do it for us. The half of our Father’s plan that creates life, that nurtures souls, that promotes growth, that influences everything else was given to us. We can’t delegate it. We can’t pass it off to anyone. It’s ours. We can refuse it, we can deny it, but it’s still our part, and we’re accountable for it. There will come a day when we will all remember what we knew before we were born. We will remember that we fought in a great conflict for this privilege. How do we meet this responsibility? We daily put our energies into the work that is uniquely ours to do.”

I couldn't have said it better myself. Enjoy your children, spend as much time as you possibly can with them. Stay home with them, watch the bugs and the clouds and the trees and the sky with them. That's a SUPER MOM!!!